


Not Quite Arabian Nights

by Arsenic



Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-06-19
Updated: 2008-06-19
Packaged: 2020-09-27 04:57:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20402038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arsenic/pseuds/Arsenic
Summary: Ten ficlets based on prompts of children's stories written for Pete's bday.





	Not Quite Arabian Nights

**Luciamad: Pete/Brendon. Winnie the Pooh**

Pete and Patrick have had this argument at least a million times. Pete contends, "If we were characters in Winnie-the-Pooh, I would so be Tigger."

Patrick comes back with a calm, practiced, "You would be Roo, Pete."

Occasionally, Joe will chime in with, "Either way, I would have eaten you," mostly to see Andy flinch.

Then there's the day Brendon shakes his head and says, "Nah, he'd be Pooh, he'd _have_ to be Pooh. He's our totally hapless leader," and Pete falls completely, head-over-heels, Disney-theme-song-playing-in-the-back in love.

Patrick, though, is skeptical. "He's not our leader, he's our...point of convergence."

Brendon shrugs. "Same difference."

Pete is too in love to talk just then.

***

Later, when he has regained his powers of speech, Pete offers, "You could be Tigger."

Brendon laughs. "That's awesome, dude, but nah, I'm Roo. Everyone knows it."

"Roo's the funnest," Pete says and has to keep himself where he is in order not to go and bang his head against the nearest wall.

Brendon nods solemnly. "I am _lots_ of fun."

***

Pete isn't proud of it, but he has to have a couple of beers before he can say, "Roo, um, Roo really looks up to Pooh."

Brendon takes the beer bottle Pete is holding and takes a sip. "Yep, he does."

"So, um--"

Brendon grins and leans in. "Of course, Roo is just a kid." Then he kisses Pete, quick and clever with his tongue.

Pete says, "Right," but it's more a vibration into Brendon's mouth than anything. He doesn't care. Mostly, he just wants to kiss back.

**Dragonfly66: Pete/Gerard, Goodnight Moon**

There are a couple of reasons Pete is careful not to go off his meds without consulting a doctor first: 1) he tends to do crazy shit like sit in Best Buy parking lots with pill bottles and then, oh, take them, and 2) it causes him to have an eBay addiction.

He's not sure how the second one comes about, except for that it's really fucking easy to forget everything else when you can concentrate on whether or not you're going to be outbid for days at a time. The point is, when Pete is off his meds he has a tendency to buy random shit for the sake of buying it, which is why he has a first edition copy of _Goodnight Moon_. He didn't even really like the book all that much as a kid. It only had a silly bunny and a lazy cat, and Pete was much more into elephants and bears and the occasional monster--usually blue and furry. But when it had come up for sale, he just couldn't stop himself from clicking and clicking and clicking.

Of course, he's not going to tell Gerard that, especially not with Gerard being all, "Holy shit, Pete. This is _amazing._ This-- When I was a kid, my mom used to read this to me and I never even really paid attention to the words, I just knew I had to draw if pictures could be like that."

Pete tiptoes closer to Gerard, not really wanting to break his concentration. He rests his chin on Gerard's shoulder. "Yeah?"

"Look," Gerard says, flipping the pages slowly. "Look at the clock. And the moon. And the shading, the shading is amazing. It's like... I don't know, implicit art, or something. It's totally fucking cool."

Pete knows his brain doesn't work like Gerard's, maybe doesn't even see color the same, he's not sure. But when he follows the line of Gerard's finger, he sees what Gerard is trying to show him.

***

When he's gotten the first round of salivating out, Gerard says, "Did you have a book that you just looked at, looked at and looked at for hours as a kid?"

Pete shakes his head. "No. But I really liked those books where you could run your fingers over different kinds of surfaces, like sandpaper and fake fur and stuff."

"Mm, those were fun. I liked pop-up books best. Mikey, when he was really young, he would giggle whenever I turned the page and things would come out of it."

Pete grins. It's so very like Mikey, but the picture of Gerard reading patiently to his younger brother, that's what really makes his lips turn up. He says, "We should find one of those."

"I'd read it to you," Gerard says.

"I know," Pete says, and kisses him by way of thanks for the reminder.

***

When Pete opens the box from Amazon that he _knows_ he didn't order, and out comes a Harry Potter pop-up book, Pete laughs and goes to call Gerard. He says, "When might you be free for some reading?"

Gerard says, "You opened it without me?"

"Just the box, not the book."

"Okay, then," Gerard giggles. "Okay."

**Disarm_d: Goodnight Moon, Pete/Brendon/Spencer**

Brendon will sing anything. _Anything._ Pete has watched him burst into song over the directions on the back of Macaroni and Cheese, sing billboard advertisements while on the road--Pete's favorites are the ones for genital enlargement--and make up songs to explain how his day went completely to shit. Most of the time Brendon's impromptu songs are snappy, energetic or completely atonal. It's something different, not just Brendon singing to sing because he likes it better than talking, when Pete wakes up from one of his nightmares cold and panicked and disoriented, and Spencer pulls Pete back against his chest, says, "Bren, hey, sing him a song."

Pete's not sure what he expects. Maybe a lullaby, maybe one of Panic's calmer songs, something familiar. Brendon though, thinks for a moment, and then makes his own song, the words from a book Pete remembers reading over and over and over as a child, until the pages fell out. He thinks maybe he told Brendon this once, or Spencer, possibly. He thinks he said, "I don't know if I've ever loved another book that much." He thinks whichever one of them it was, he was paying attention, because Spencer's got him, safe and sturdy, and Brendon is fitting together the rhymes, melody low and sweet and soothing, and Pete can sleep.

***

In the morning, Pete slips out of bed as quietly as he can. Pete is not by nature quiet, but he likes the way Brendon makes little murmurs into his pillow when he sleeps, how Spencer, deprived of someone to hold, moves unconsciously into Brendon, tucking him up and going about his business of sleeping. Pete doesn't want to deprive himself of that. He makes his way to the kitchen and finds the coffee he hid just for their visit. It's Vanilla Creme Brulee, which sounded just ridiculous enough for Brendon and him to get all excited about, but not so ridiculous that Spencer will refuse, on principle, to drink it. Spencer drinks his coffee black. Pete admires that and all, but also thinks it's indicative of Spencer being slightly crazy.

He's measuring out the grounds when a warm nose burrows into his neck. Spencer grumbles, "You sleep after?"

"Like a baby," Pete tells him.

"Starting to act your own age, then, huh?"

Pete pouts. "I'm making you coffee, Spencer Smith."

"Mm, you're very mature."

Pete nods. "Too fucking right I am."

***

Brendon is lured to them by the smell of the coffee. He comes in making grabby hands with his eyes mostly shut. Pete sits him down before he runs into anything, namely Hemmy, who's minding his own business, hanging out on the floor, like a dog. Spencer, the fucker, just watches in amusement. Brendon takes a sip and says, "Mmmm, coffee flavored sugar."

Pete snorts into his own cup. Spencer rolls his eyes. Brendon, eyes still closed, says, "'Whatever, you fuckers are thinking the same thing."

Pete is actually thinking about what the coffee tastes like on each of them, and if Hemmy would be forever scarred if he got up on the table and fucked Brendon's mouth while Spencer watched, leaning back in his chair, the smallest sliver of hipbone peaking out from beneath his t-shirt. Maybe. Probably. Instead he says, "You know 'Goodnight Moon' by heart."

Brendon glances at Pete. "Who doesn't?"

Pete can actually name several people off the top of his head. He says, "Spencer."

Spencer flips him off. Brendon smiles. "_Spencer_ can recite the entire Periodic Table. Can you?"

And well, no, no Pete can't, but, "Why?"

Spencer shrugs. "I was trying to impress a college guy once, when I was in high school. This guy Ryan knew."

"Older men really do it for you, huh?" Pete asks.

"Flaming geekazoids do it for me," Spencer says, with neither shame nor fear of reproach.

Pete thinks for a second, then nods. "Makes sense."

***

Despite having actually fallen back asleep, Pete is pretty tired by mid-afternoon, so he lays down on the couch, listening to Spencer and Brendon bicker over which was the best Care Bear. Pete is impressed that Brendon pulled Spencer into the conversation. Brendon's hard to resist like that. The snappish back and forth stops and Pete almost opens his eyes but then Brendon is wiggling over him, tucking himself behind Pete, and Spencer is draping himself on top of Pete, almost too heavy, but not quite. Brendon says, "Goodnight, little spoon," and giggles.

"Little, my ass," Pete says.

Spencer snorts oh-so-politely. Pete's still smiling when he falls asleep.

**1001cranes: Pete, Ryan, gen (or Mikey), Secret Garden**

It was Mikey who had the idea. Pete was still freaking out over what the hell to get Ryan for his birthday at a week before--he'd gotten _Spencer_ something, for fuck's sake--when Mikey said, "What's your favorite book?"

Pete was used to random, seemingly unrelated questions from Mikey. They almost always went somewhere. And when they didn't, well, Pete didn't so much mind. "Like. Of all time?"

"Ever and ever," Mikey said.

Pete thought. There were so many easy answers, so many ones that maybe would have been expected: _Naked Lunch_ or _The Awakening_ or _Ender's Game_. Finally he said, "The Secret Garden."

Mikey said, "Well then."

Pete made a face, but Mikey just stared him down. Mikey always, always won staring contests. It was totally unfair.

***

He only had a week, but that didn't change the fact that Pete couldn't get himself to just go online and find a copy of the book. Not even a copy with annotations and gilded pages, or whatever. There was something about buying a gift for Ryan that necessitated going and actually looking for it, on his feet and with his hands. Sometimes he thought it was just that Ryan would know somehow, would know that Pete had reached out and touched the item and deemed it worthy. Most of the time he just thought it was that Ryan was worth the effort, and that more people ought to bother.

Either way, he found the perfect copy at the fourth store he went to. It was old, softened with age, illustrated in bright colors, just the right size to keep open on one's knees. Pete bought it, had the people at the store wrap it, and overnighted it to Ryan. When Spencer texted, "dnt wait till teh last mnt, or anythng," Pete just grinned. Arrival on one's birthday was still on time, and that was what mattered.

***

Ryan's card said--Ryan wrote actual thank you letters, with stationary and all; Pete thought he might have picked up the habit from Brendon, who had long since dropped it--"It's perfect. Thank Mikey for me, too."

Pete showed Mikey the note the next time he was in town. Mikey looked at Pete and asked flatly, "Well, aren't you going to thank me?"

And while that probably hadn't been what Ryan had in mind, yes, yes Pete was.

***

Pete always stayed with Ryan when he was in Vegas, even if Mikey was with him, largely because if he didn't, Ryan got a little quiet, like maybe it was that Pete didn't want to spend that time with him. Ryan had never actually said anything, it was just Pete's feel for the situation. So despite the fact that he was in for Brendon's twenty-fifth Birthday Affair--Ryan had actually accented the words, which was how Pete knew they were supposed to be capitalized; he has also said, "There's going to be a genie. In a lamp"--and Pete had very discreetly hinted, "Um, you sure you guys won't be, y'know, celebrating?" he was staying at Ryan's. (Ryan had maybe made a rude noise and said, "Yeah, because you and Mikey haven't done that in my spare room at least a hundred times," and well, okay, they probably had.)

Pete never slept well in places that weren't his own the first night, not even places like Ryan's house, where he'd been a million times before and probably would be again. Instead he wandered around a bit, trying to get his bearings, which was how he found Ryan sitting on the floor of his living room, back to the couch, his knees curled up, a book lying flat on the surface of his thighs. Ryan looked up and said, "Took you long enough."

Pete said, "Didn't realize you were waiting."

Ryan looked at the space next to him and Pete settled into it. He reached out, touched the soft pulp of the book's paper. "Where are you?" he asked.

"Where Mary finds Colin."

"I love that part. He's such a--"

"Priss?"

Pete nodded. "But she puts up with him."

"Loves him, really. She just...just needs some time. To get to know him."

Pete let his head drop to Ryan's shoulder. After a moment, Ryan said, "Read with me?"

"Tell me where to begin."

**Amandazillah: Pete/Mikey, Velveteen Rabbit**

In his worst moments, Mikey would sometimes lose touch with what was real, and what were just the nightmares, the ghosts of things past. His guys were pretty good about keeping him steady, about pulling him out of the worst of it, but there were times when one of them would show up at Pete's, regardless of whether he was home or on the road or even visiting family, Mikey in both hands and say, "Hey, we need some help."

The first time it had scared the ever-loving shit out of Pete and he'd told Gerard, somewhat desperately, "I'm no good, not for this, I can't--"

Gerard had shaken him once, hard, hard enough that Pete felt dizzy in the wake of it, and said, "If you can't, I'm taking him away and never bringing him back again."

Gerard had looked terrified. As it turned out, Pete just needed the right motivation to step up, take care of things. He'd taken Mikey from Gerard, told the guys to quiet down--everyone loved Mikey, it wasn't like asking for himself--pulled him into the dark quiet of Pete's bunk and stayed with him, solid and stronger than he'd known he was, until Mikey was able to say, "Pete?" and sound like he understood the question, like it made contextual sense.

Pete had said, "Hey, hey there Mikey," and Mikey had twisted his fingers in Pete's shirt and stayed with him for a long time, even knowing that Gerard wasn't far, that he would still be waiting for Mikey to come back.

***

"You ever read _The Velveteen Rabbit_?" Mikey asked one time, when he was willing to talk again.

"My mom read it to me once."

"Just once?"

"It made me sad." Pete couldn't even really remember the plot, just his feeling of sadness.

"Me too, sorta. Just. Not like other people, I don't think."

Pete couldn't pretend to be greatly shocked by that. Mikey thought differently in almost every area, which was kind of what made him absolutely perfect to Pete. Mikeyway was his own true thing. Pete pressed his forehead to the ridge of Mikey's spine and asked, "How'd it make you sad?"

"I always-- I mean, it wasn't like people didn't love me. Gee loved me more than enough to make me real and all, he always, well... But I never _felt_\-- I just--"

Pete rolled over the top of Mikey so that they could face each other. He looked at Mikey for a long time before saying, "You're perfectly real to me."

"What if I gave you, um, I dunno. Does Scarlet Fever even exist anymore?"

Like Pete had any clue. "You could give me herpes, babe. I'd be slightly skeeved, but I still wouldn't trade you in for a cleaner model."

"Ew," Mikey said.

"You started it," Pete told him.

"That doesn't mean you have to finish it," Mikey explained.

Pete said, "The point is, I wouldn't give you up for anything."

"Yeah," Mikey said after a minute. "Yeah, I kinda got that."

***

Pete went out and got a copy and reread the book before the next time he called Mikey. He opened up their conversation with, "How could you not be real? You look after me all the time."

"You don't take so much," Mikey said.

And Pete got that Mikey really thought that, that in Mikey's world, making sure Pete didn't fall off the end of the sidewalk wasn't a huge ordeal. That didn't mean that it wasn't. "Okay," he said.

"You're not," Mikey said.

Pete wasn't going to win, he never did, so he said, "I love you." That probably made his point.

**Rynia: Pete/Gerard, Holes**

Gerard and Pete have a secret language. It's less of a language than jokes they both get without having to explain anything, but Mikey calls it their language, and Pete kind of likes the idea.

That's how, the night he goes online to see what kind of pictures have shown up of My Chem's most recent show and finds "Drareg" written on Gerard's neck, Pete knows it means, "Hi, Pete, I love you."

***

It starts the time that Gerard gets the flu while staying with Pete, and Pete puts him to bed and brings him juice. Gerard smiles up at him one time and says, "Gonna bring me onions, Retep?"

Afraid that his (pretty awesome) boyfriend is going crazy from brainfever and possibly dying, Pete says, "Um, Gee?"

Gerard grins up at Pete, his eyes fever-bright. "You know, like in _Holes_."

"What kind of holes?"

"The book, _Holes_."

Oh, okay, not crazy, at least, not anymore than normal. "I never read it."

Gerard opens his mouth to explain it, but he's so tired his eyes are drooping shut even as he does so. Instead he just tells Pete, "You should. Good story. Friends and stuff."

Pete brushes the hair from Gerard's face and says, "'Kay, I will."

***

They read it together. Gerard likes to be Zero, he gives Pete Stanley's part.

It takes them a while, because it's hard for Pete to watch Gerard become a lonely kid with nothing but his own defenses and a boy teaching him to read without making out with Gerard. Possibly, this says something about Pete's head. Pete doesn't care.

***

Pete texts, "retep & drareg" after he sees the picture.

Gerard text back, "reverof."

**Redandglenda: Pete/Ray, Lassie**

Pete's never seen the Lassie movies. Sure, he knows the references and all, but he read the book as a kid and he was able to picture himself as the boy to whom Lassie always wanted to come home. Regardless of how funny Malcom McDowell in short pants is, Pete just can't give up that image.

***

It only comes up because sometimes, when Pete isn't on tour and Ray is, Pete will spend a few days hanging around, sleeping tucked between the wall of Ray's bunk and Ray, sitting in the bus studio, listening to him lay down tracks, most of which will never be used. Pete is very careful to never overstay his welcome.

Mikey and Frank both have a thing for movies with dogs in them, and even if Bob and Gerard didn't both totally spoil those two, there would be the fact that Pete suspects Bob secretly likes movies with dogs in them anyway, which makes it a majority vote. Ray is sort of neutral on the movies-with-dogs issue, but he's not a trouble-maker, so most of the time he just goes along with whatever the hell they want to watch.

Pete settles down with them for movie-time one day, and makes it all the way to the opening credits, when "Lassie" flashes on the screen and then he is so, so out of there. Mikey yells at him, "If you think you're too cool for this, you're wrong."

"Sez you," Pete calls back and curls up in Ray's bunk. If only that were the reason, really. Pete doesn't want to talk about it.

As such, it's kind of unfortunate that Ray appears, pulling back the curtain and peering into the darkness of his own sleeping space. "Um. Hey."

Pete says, "Just decided I didn't really feel like watching. You can. I was gonna take a nap, or something."

Ray pushes Pete further back with a hand to his stomach, and climbs in, fitting himself inside more adroitly than Pete would have thought possible the first few times he thought about getting in a bunk with Ray Toro. Back then it had been mostly pipe dreams. Pete knows it probably looks bad, makes a lie out of his excuse, but he can't help pressing into Ray's chest. Ray is solid, he never goes anywhere when Pete jumps on him, or hangs from him, or pretty much does anything that would most likely fell a lesser man.

Ray wraps an arm over Pete, strokes at the back of his neck. "It's okay if you don't like Lassie. We're not gonna vote you off the bus. Well, Frank and Mikey might, but theirs is not a majority vote, and Gerard can be convinced to see reason, on occasion."

Pete laughs into Ray's chest. Ray kisses the top of his head. "You feeling okay?"

Pete nods, not lifting his head. He's fine. He's here, Ray's here, he's fine. Ray says, "Hey, seriously."

Pete sighs and rolls on his back. It's a tight fit, but so long as Ray stays on his side, they can do it. He says, "I've never seen it."

Ray blinks and then catches on. "Lassie? Dude, it's a classic, you totally should."

"Yeah, I--"

Ray waits. Ray is sometimes too patient.

"I really loved the book, y'know?"

"There was a book?" Ray asks.

"Yeah, you and most people," Pete tells him. "But my dad read it to me when I was a kid. And I just. I really liked it." Pete is not going to tell Ray about his boy-with-a-dog fantasies. There are ways to appear like a loser, and then there are _ways_.

"And you don't want that ruined," Ray says softly.

Pete closes his eyes. "Mm." Then, although he doesn't really mean to say anything, "I always wanted a dog as a kid."

Ray is silent and Pete is weak in the face of silence, says, "I would have trained it to always come back to me. No matter what."

Ray says, "Hey, Pete." He puts a hand to Pete's face, coaxing him to open his eyes. Pete does, if somewhat reluctantly. Ray has a slightly puzzled look on his face. After a long moment he says, "You don't have to train me, you know?"

Pete blinks. "Um."

Ray grins at him, ducking in for a quick, utterly stolen kiss. Pete takes a breath. "Oh."

Ray kisses him again. "Oh."

**Sinuous_curve: Pete/Spencer, The Lorax**

On Earth Day, someone hacked into Panic's site. Pete received an email about the breach and went to call Ryan who said, "Nah, it was probably Brendon or Jon. They keep forgetting the password and instead of just asking, they go in through a back door."

Pete clicked over to the site to see the front page wiped clean of everything but the quote, "Plant a new Truffula. Treat it with care./Give it clean water. And feed it fresh air./Grow a forest. Protect it from axes that hack./Then the Lorax and all of his friends may come back."

Pete asked, "Is either of them a particularly big Dr. Seuss fan?"

Ryan was silent for a long moment. "Or it could be Spencer, just fucking with our heads."

***

As it turned out, answer choice C was the correct one, which wasn't surprising, given that Ryan and Spencer had some kind of mind-meld thing going. Pete asked Spencer, "Did you forget the password, too?"

"Nah, I just wanted you to look and I figured email notification of a hack was the easiest way to accomplish that."

Pete starts to say, "Or you could have just--" but no, that's not really the way things work between any of them. Spencer snorts. Pete says, "Yeah, okay, very clever." Then, remembering something from his conversation with Ryan, "You're a big Dr. Seuss fan?"

"The only people who aren't are illiterate morons."

Pete had the feeling the other members of Panic had been _schooled_ as far as this went. "That's, um, that's a strong reaction to a children's author."

"I'm passionate about things," Spencer said dryly. It wasn't _as_ funny as when Ryan said it, but it was pretty funny. The two of them could mimic each other's mannerisms pretty well.

"Like Dr. Seuss."

"And saving the earth, just in case you're part of the illiterate masses, and missed the message."

"Did you, um, did you do anything else for Earth Day?"

"Reinstalled my house to run completely on water-conserving technology. I've been talking about solar panels, but that's actually kind of a bigger deal."

"Oh...really?"

"Why does everybody think I'm kidding when I say this shit?"

"Maybe because you forget to change your tone of voice?" Pete suggested. It was just a suggestion.

"Whatever," Spencer said.

***

Pete's knowledge of Dr. Seuss was limited mostly to remembering the cadence of the rhymes on his mother's tongue, but he went into the site--with his password, thanks much--and added: "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to change. It's not."

He sent Spencer a text that said, "literate."

**Achika_chan: Pete/Spencer, The Hobbit**

Pete is used to height jokes. He's spent his life being short, he's fairly accustomed to it by now. Where he draws the line, though, is at nicknames like "Bilbo." Granted, only one person has ever thought to whip that one out. But that is not the point. There is a line, and Pete draws it, and that, _that_ is what matters.

***

Spencer Smith clearly has no respect for lines. This is a setback in Pete's attempts to draw one, but Pete has had setbacks before. He shall triumph, and Spencer Smith shall rue the day he ever ventured to stand in Pete's way. Patrick looks doubtful when Pete tells him this, but Patrick is a doubting Thomas. It cannot be helped. The fact that Patrick feels no need to help Pete with his plan is mildly problematic, as Patrick is the far more logical planner of the two, but Pete shall carry forth bravely, on his own.

Ryan Ross also betrays him, choosing to side with Smith. Just because they're childhood friends. Pete scoffs at his weakness.

Really, his plan just involves finding the one nickname that will drive Spencer absolutely batshit insane and wielding it unmercifully until his victim cries uncle with the cries of a small girlchild. Tragically for Pete, Spencer seems to have been largely inured to torture-by-name-calling throughout most of high school. Not even _muffin_ does the trick, and Pete knows Spencer's kind of sensitive about the shape of his body.

Which, later, when he thinks about it that way--well, okay, when Ryan glares at him _for_ Spencer and he thinks about it that way--he feels pretty shitty about it.

He finds Spencer hanging out on the balcony. It's a little cold in the desert at night, which never makes sense to Pete no matter how long he's known it. Spencer says, "Hey."

Pete wraps his arms around himself. Spencer rolls his eyes. "C'mere."

Pete doesn't think he really deserves to be wrapped up in Spencer's arms, but he's not going to say no. He can't even, really. His throat isn't allowing it. Spencer's doing this thing with his hand at the back of Pete's neck. He says softly, "I like that you're short."

Pete makes a noise against Spencer's collarbone, some mixture of amusement and annoyance. Spencer says, "I like that you fit like this."

And, um, oh. "Oh."

Spencer laughs softly, but Pete doesn't think it's at him. It doesn't sound mean. It sounds... It sounds uncertain. Pete doesn't like the way it sounds, so he angles his chin up and kisses the line of Spencer's jaw. "I like fitting."

***

Later, after they've found every way that the two of them fit together, including a few Pete really wouldn't have called, Spencer says, "Dude, Bilbo _slays a fucking dragon._ I have to tell you, you have high fucking standards for nicknames."

Pete is kind of sleepy, and very comfortable, wrapped as tightly around Spencer as he can manage. He says, "Didn't think about it that way."

"Besides, I totally always call Ryan 'Frodo.' With the scarves, and shit. And it's, like, relational. You _have_ to be 'Bilbo.'"

"You do not call Ryan 'Frodo.'"

"Ask him."

"He'd lie for you."

"Hm."

"Besides, who does that make you: Sam?"

"Uh, in relation to Ryan, or you?"

Pete laughs. "Ew."

"Not so far out of line with your reputation--"

Pete hauls off and hits him with a pillow. "Dickface."

"Aw," Spencer says. "Don't call me names."

Pete laughs.

**Rossetti: Pete/Spencer, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs**

The first time it happens, it's cupcakes, and Pete doesn't question, because one does not question when carrot cake cupcakes with cream cheese frosting show up on one's kitchen counter. One eats.

Of course, later, after one has taken this wholly correct and unquestionable form of action, then one can ask, say, his best friend, "Hey, d'you leave me cupcakes?"

Patrick probably says, "I have no clue what you're talking about."

Pete waits a day after this, and when he hasn't died, figures it for a win. The cupcakes were fucking good.

***

The second time, he's a little more cautious. He asks Patrick first and even considers throwing the food out, but it's chicken parm, which is one of Pete's very favorite foods that are highly likely to kill you, and it smells so so good, and it showed up magically in his refrigerator.

The magical thing makes him think of Mikey and he texts, "hve u bin sndng me food"

Mikey texts back, "tf?"

Pete takes that as a no. He has another moment of consideration before deciding that really, if he's going to pick a way to go, chicken parm's a respectable one. At the very least, it's a really yummy one.

***

Pete clues in the third time, when he comes home to banana pecan muffins. Pete only knows one person who can actually make all three of those dishes, and despite the fact that that person is currently in--Pete checks the schedule--D.C., Spencer Smith is more than evil genius enough to come up with a way to send Pete food and baked goods from across the country. He rings him up and asks, "What's the ulterior motive, Smith?"

"Jesus, about time you figured it out. Mikey, all your guys and all my guys were laying bets."

"You're all assholes," Pete informs him.

"You're the one either befriending us or sleeping with us, so I suggest you take a deep look inside and figure out what that says about you."

Pete considers that for a second. He's largely unbothered, as it turns out. "Ulterior motive," he repeats.

Spencer grumbles something.

"What?" Pete asks.

"I _said_," and yeah, that's Spencer's defensive voice, "I thought maybe you'd follow the food."

"Um." Pete tilts his head. "It was always in my kitchen."

"Right, well, I thought if I conditioned you, to like, expect food from the sky and shit, that if it disappeared--"

"You read _Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs_ once too often as a kid, didn't you?"

"It was Ryan's favorite."

Pete hears yelling in the background. He has the feeling Spencer lays a lot of shit at Ryan's feet. He smiles and says, "You could have just asked, you know. Said you missed me."

"You like gestures," Spencer tells him, and yeah, Pete does, but, "I like you."

"How were the cupcakes?" Spencer asks softly, after a long silence.

"Better than Sprinkles'," Pete says, and lets him get away with the subject change.


End file.
